Principle #10 – Be A Friend
/frend/ noun : a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
The Friend Song
I have a friend
He’s like my brother
And every now and then we sit down
And we talk to each other
One time we talked
All about the future
And we shared each others’ dreams and plans
For later on, when we both had time at hand
And weren’t so damn busy
Me and my friend
And the thing I don’t understand
Dear God, where is he?
Where is he?
And so my friend, I must say
So long, for now
Your time is over
I must go on
You are my brother
This is your song
It will last forever, forever, forever
We’ll be friends that long
I don’t keep many friends
How many of you have ever looked at someone and said, you know I just don’t have many friends? I have a lot of associates and acquaintances but not many friends. Then if you are a fan of the Godfather, then you know, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer” along with “lose the gun and keep the cannoli”. If you have ever had cannoli then you would understand. Anyway, I digress.
Part of the Pack
Part of what makes us tick as humans is our ability to connect with others outside of our tribe or pack. In the last couple of months alone I have made new “Friends” all over the United States, UK, India, Iran, Europe and many other places around the world. I have learned to search google translate to have conversations with people from France, Serbia, Mexico, Portugal, and others. On social media, I have communicated with people that most of us would have only been able to imagine.
To answer again, why would I have such a big network. Because they are helpful. They have made a difference in my life. Since I have been unemployed, I have been to hell and back. I have fallen to the very deepest of despair. A depression that could not be fixed by meds, or therapy. So deep that at one point before I started working on growing my network I actually sat in my room one day and put a knife to my arm to slit my wrist. Un/Fortunately the knife was too dull to break the skin. I don’t know that I was actually ready to do the deed, but I was very close to that edge. Once I wasn’t able to do it easily, I started thinking about my kids, my life and the fact that I am better than this. I am stronger than this. I was a soldier, I was a warrior, I was an athlete and a fighter. My entire life I trained myself to defend myself and my family, my country and the Great State of Texas. #IAMAWARRIOR, I live a #BEASTMODELIFE.
From that moment on I decided that I would not be defeated by my mind, by another man, by a job, by an ATS system or anything else for that matter. Nothing can defeat me, nothing can stop me, nothing can slow me down. Then I started the whole #BEASTMODELIFE movement and this is where we are today. I started the movement, truly trying to connect with people on a deeper level. I started opening my mind and my heart to those around me. What I found was that everyone I came into contact with, responded.
I am not a hero
I don’t want to be a hero or the next self-help fad. Tony Robbins, I am not. What am I? I am a connector, an uniter, a friend. I am #BEASTMODELIFE. So, what I say to you, the reader. Do not take my road. It is a very hard road. It is full of pain and sorrow. Open your mind, open your life, invite people in. As Tim McGraw would say “Be a Friend, a Friend would like to have”. Don’t sweat the small stuff, forgive often, ask forgiveness even more so. Most of all, forgive yourself and don’t be afraid to say I Love you.
Learn to love one another
Learn to love one another, learn to help one another because, without friends, life is long, lonely and hard.
This is the last principle and I think I will end it here. I have put my heart out there enough tonight. Perhaps someday I can write more but I still exist in the hell of unemployment, brokenness, and misery for another day. I thank and love you all for reading my series. I hope it helps you as much to read it as it has me to write it.
What comes next?
I may very well package this for sale simply to try and make some money so that my family can have some money to pay the internet bill, so I can keep building my LinkedIn family. Right now, I don’t have internet, money to pay my rent my or electric or even put gas in my car to take my kids to school or to the doctor.
If you have not done so by now – Join the following groups to see what other successful LinkedIn folks are doing.
- #BEASTMODELIFE – https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12138037
- #projecthelpyougrow by Ira Bowman SPN – https://www.linkedin.com/groups/13615449
- The Service Professionals Network (SPN)- LION, Awareness Raisers, Open Networker – https://www.linkedin.com/groups/8435642
- LION Network – https://www.linkedin.com/groups/975717
Tony DeGonia can be found on his website or his LinkedIn Profile.